I taught my first outdoor class today. Driving up to Thornhaven Winery in Summerland, I felt nerves. Nerves about being in full sun on a day where it was supposed to go from 24 to 27 degrees between 9 and 10am. Nerves about how my voice would carry, how I could hold space in the vastness of the outdoors, how I could be present for my own needs of cooler weather and for my students at the same time. It was a fun feeling, in hindsight, as it reminded me of how much I care that my students connect with the class, that I lead them safely and that I am able to be present for them. I had fear around being in full sun in the heat of the day and this concern was driving a lot of feelings of not being "enough". This theme of enough has been very present in my personal practice as well as my teachings. I've been working with how to let go of the ego, and just be. Be me, be serious and funny in the same moment. To be okay that my classes are a more slow gentle flow and that if someone were seeking a strong workout that I wouldn't be the right teacher. Realizing that my enoughness doesn't need to mean that I am everything.
Thankfully after just a few minutes of being on site, the winemaker came over and offered up his lawn and shade for us to practice in. A reminder for me that all worry does is take away my present moments happiness, the worries didn't need to take place, and I maybe will remember that the next time they take over. Maybe... always a lessen in the practice of yoga.
I was so grateful for the wind, the beautiful view, the smells, and even the ants that kept us all present. Flows where grass tickled the face, a savasana where bugs came around to feel the energy, and a temper tantrum on the lawn to remind us that the earth can hold all that does not serve us, it is there to support and encourage us. It was nice to feel students laughing. To see some enjoying themselves. To have the beauty of the tree branches as they swayed above us during practice. There was a branch that I touched with each salutation to the sun, a reminder that obstacles exist, I just need to move around them or with them.
20 people arrived, practiced, moved and flowed. At the end of class we centred with some Nadi Shodhana, alternate nostril breathing, and moved off into the long weekend with a bit of practice, a bit of fresh air, and a readiness to face the day. After class, Thornhaven arranged for us all to have a glass of wine on the patio, and a few of us yogi's checked it out.
With gratitude to Sarah at Main St. Fitness and Yoga who allows me to lead in the studio and arranged this class today, and to Courtney at Thornhaven for making the space a possibility.
We practice in the grass, with the amazing view again on August 20th, 9am!